I've been away from my blog but now I'm back. After my last post I was getting some school finished with the boys and cleaning up for company. Then I was enjoing my sisters visit and getting ready for a weeks vacation to Oregon with JoAnna and Elijah. I had a busy fun filled week in Oregon and when I got back it took me a week to recover and love on my Joshua and Ezra who had a hard time being away from mom for a week; for the first time in their young lives. The last few weeks I have been in an internal struggle with change.
Have you every been planning, waiting, and hoping for something and then you realize it just isn't going to happen the way you want it to or think it should. That were I have been for the month of July so far. What I have started to TRUELY believe and started to hold onto these last few days is God knows best. HE has proven himself faithful through the years with other big changes in my life and I'm finding HIM to be faithful still. When I finally surrend to HIM I'm able to see clearly. Not be focused on me and how I think things should be done.
I have finaly embraced the fact the we are suppose to be here in Miami. I went house hunting with my husband kicking and screaming and in the end God directed us to a house way out of our price range and we are in the process of buying it and the seller came way down to fit into our price range. It will be our first home we have ever bought. I will keep you posted when its officiall.
Its been six months since I have became a full time mother of 5 and I'm still stuggling with if I can really do this and be a good mom to all. There are all so unique and an awsome blessing but God truely has to meet me and give me the strength to care and love each as the deserve.